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Five of the Internet’s Weirdest Sex Toys Featured Work

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Bizarre Sex Toys

December 7th, 2011 by abraxas received No Comments »

Hyper-realistic Japanese Dolls

Thousands of men in Japan are dropping $6,500 on these hyper-realistic dolls. Sexy friends that meet all their needs, and–best of all–don’t talk back. Created by Orient Industries, you can customize your doll with a wide selection of fully interchangeable faces and hairpieces. All dolls are, of course, waterproof.

Artificial Hymen

Sex-toy company Gigimodo created this “artificial hymen” –a plastic bag filled with, well, fake blood– for those of you who either need to lie about being a virgin, or want to re-live the doubtlessly thrilling experience of losing your maidenly flower.

Obama Dildo

Just in time to insert more pork into the new stimulus package comes the “official” Obama pleasure toy. For only $34.95 you can get the “Head O State Obama Sex Toy” with a choice between “Presidential Gold” and “Democratic Blue”.

Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack

The thought of being bagged up like a birthday present isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but according to the site,this total body sack is “so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it”. We’ll take it on trust.

Eco-Friendly Vibrator

Love yourself and the planet at the same time with Sola, a small bullet-shaped vibrator powered by the sun. The price of being green? $69.95.

Real Touch

This computer-controlled “stimulation” device uses “specially encoded content” to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to your wang. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin and it’s available for $150.

Cup Nude

At some point everyone has enjoyed a fresh cup of hot noodles. While the traditional instant cup would satisfy your hunger, the “Cup Nude” satisfies a completely different need altogether. Although similar in design, you will immediately notice upon opening that this is not your average midnight snack. Complete with a packet of “Gently Acid Lotion”, you are sure to find enjoyment in this loving product, unless, of course, there is real acid in that packet… ouch!

Hello Kitty Vibrator

Originally marketed as a neck massager, this was one of the cult Hello Kitty collectibles that could only be acquired in Japan. But a couple of things didn’t seem to fit the whole “neck massager” claim. The first was the size and the shape. The second was the nature of its vibrational, uh, “qualities”. So Hello Kitty has done everything then. Good show.

Hizamakura’s Lap Pillow

Here is something kooky. Normally you’d think that resting your head on a lap would just be for lovebirds. But not in Japan! They seem to have something for everyone and the Hizamakura Lap Pillow is no exception. It is shaped like the lap of a woman, where you can perhaps sleep better knowing you are in a good lap. Only in Japan. Price? $142.

Gold-plated Vibrator

Meet the world’s most expensive vibrator, a 18 karat gold-plated piece that weighs approximately 5 ounces and is 3 inches long. Made in Sweden by Lelo, it has a suggested retail price of $1500, but can be yours for as little as $999.

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Posted under: Humor, WTF

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